My November Heart

There is something especially romantic about rain and the in between season when you’re not sure whether it’s fall or winter – the spontaneity keeping you at the edge of your window, marking each droplet on the street.  For the 1000th time, it’s raining, but it’s November in my heart.  I know that today is merely a blink in the midst of eternity, yet I jot it down as one that I need to be present in.

I’ve decided to, unwillingly but desperately, start a blog.  You will find my thoughts, devotions, and stories in and among the posts that I will be composing for the next however long.  Whatever they will consist of, I would like to point you toward the true Author of this story.  As a daughter of the Most High, with my heart thrown at the feet of Jesus and completely overtaken by His boundless grace and unrelenting love, I am vulnerable to you now.  Here I am.

God’s grace overtook me when I needed it the most, but when I least expected it.  He knows me better than I know myself, and understands that I need His love more than I need discipline.  Discipline is easy, because I’ve always known that I need to change.  I am so diligent when reading Proverbs that this walk gets blurry and I forget why I am here in the first place.  His Love.  Not because He told me “No”, though I understand the need for it, but because He loves me.  I am the one Jesus loves.

He tore me out of my oasis of familiarity and depression and brought me into a new glory, a new beginning.  He offered me a conscience that I had no idea existed.  He offered me a way out of my chaotic sense of being, moving me to paint the walls of my house purple and not black.  With the blood of Jesus, I am free from believing that the void in my heart is impenetrable.  His pierced hands have led me anew.

I am not bound to anything and I no longer need to be held back by fear.
Which is why I say, here I am.  This is my lovesong.

 

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