There is something especially romantic about rain and the in between season when you’re not sure whether it’s fall or winter – the spontaneity keeping you at the edge of your window, marking each droplet on the street. For the 1000th time, it’s raining, but it’s November in my heart. I know that today is merely a blink in the midst of eternity, yet I jot it down as one that I need to be present in.
I’ve decided to, unwillingly but desperately, start a blog. You will find my thoughts, devotions, and stories in and among the posts that I will be composing for the next however long. Whatever they will consist of, I would like to point you toward the true Author of this story. As a daughter of the Most High, with my heart thrown at the feet of Jesus and completely overtaken by His boundless grace and unrelenting love, I am vulnerable to you now. Here I am.
God’s grace overtook me when I needed it the most, but when I least expected it. He knows me better than I know myself, and understands that I need His love more than I need discipline. Discipline is easy, because I’ve always known that I need to change. I am so diligent when reading Proverbs that this walk gets blurry and I forget why I am here in the first place. His Love. Not because He told me “No”, though I understand the need for it, but because He loves me. I am the one Jesus loves.
He tore me out of my oasis of familiarity and depression and brought me into a new glory, a new beginning. He offered me a conscience that I had no idea existed. He offered me a way out of my chaotic sense of being, moving me to paint the walls of my house purple and not black. With the blood of Jesus, I am free from believing that the void in my heart is impenetrable. His pierced hands have led me anew.
I am not bound to anything and I no longer need to be held back by fear.
Which is why I say, here I am. This is my lovesong.