Let Hope Fill You


God is so eager to move on our behalf. Did you know that? He is waiting for us to ask Him a question, for us to tell Him our dreams, and to have a conversation about the future. He knows it all, but He actually wants US to reach out to HIM. He so much wants to see you flourish in this lifetime. No, in fact, He wants to see you come to an all new level which you have never been before. A higher standard of life that you have yet to experience. And it’s achievable! Did you know that!?

When I dedicated my life to following Christ, God placed new desires inside of me. I laid down who I thought I was and started all over. But I hated myself before Jesus, so this was a very hard process for me. I made so many mistakes and brought so much hurt into peoples lives that I didn’t think I could escape the guilt and torturous thoughts. I was drowning in depression and suicidal tendencies. I hated myself. I didn’t want to be anywhere near myself. Every morning when I woke up, I wished the day were already over. My heart ached. Every time I put my head to the pillow, I wished I were dead so that I didn’t have to see tomorrow. Loneliness consumed me. And loneliness to me wasn’t that I had no one around me, it was actually the fact that I couldn’t articulate my feelings and thoughts. I analyzed too much, and so I thought and thought myself into loneliness.

All of that, and I wore a mask to hide it all.

No one in my life knew how I struggled or what my normal disposition was like. And if they did, they were the wrong people to confide in, and eventually I burnt the bridge anyways.

Wow, hey? Because that’s not who I am anymore.

I now know that I am not alone. I am not fearful for tomorrow. I feel excited and overjoyed. And…I am DREAMING! I’m inspired and hopeful!  I am secure and yet I have freedom. God’s unfailing grace is all I know now. His unrelenting love called me out and lifted me up from my muddy state. But this didn’t happen in one day, one week, or even one year. Actually, I’m still trying to be better than I was yesterday. I don’t want to be stuck in the same state of mind day in and day out. That’s boring! And if I didn’t call on Jesus every day, then I would slip back into my old habits, mindsets, and eventually just reverse all of this growth. I am only human and I often still struggle with despondent thoughts, but it’s different now. I don’t need to dwell on it because I have been given tools to get through these things. Prayer being the first and foremost tool that I use DAILY. Why would I want to stay where I am when I can go so much higher with Him?

The meat of what I want you to know today is that He is WAITING for YOU to call on Him. Say, “Jesus, I need You, I’m lost and I can’t do this anymore without You!” It’s easy. Can you really change your ways and habits so drastically? “A man can’t, but the Lord can.” He’s waiting for you.

 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me [following Me as My disciple], for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest (renewal, blessed quiet) for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29 AMP

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